Only Humans Feel
by secondbutthole
Summary: He was a Chimera. He didn't feel. He didn't dream. He didn't cry. He doesn't have flesh. He doesn't remember. But he does. And he wants to know why.


I do not own Mother 3- the rights go to Nintendo and Shigesato Itoi

* * *

I wasn't given a name; nor an identity. The first piece of information I got was the fact that I was the Commander of the Pigmask army. That I was created- not born- in the Chimera labs in Murasaki Forest. That I was to serve King P and King P alone.

I still dream. I dream about a boy who must be me and one that looks exactly like me but with blond hair. I dream about a woman in red with a gentle smile and an even gentler embrace. A man who is so brave but hides his quiet eyes in a hat.

Chimeras don't dream. So I disregard any thought I may have about them; the seemingly ideal family.

They tell me what they think of me sometimes. The privates are always brimming with respect- how quickly they followed orders when I barked at them. I suppose they are good people deep down but the stress probably causes them to crack. Of course I was probably wrong. They always told me I was wrong; They try to break me by calling me names because they know I can still feel.

They are the monsters. Not me. But I digress. Because, in a sense, I truly am a monster. I hurt people because I'm told to. Because they tell me to. But I'm only following orders- the ones that They give.

I think back to that ideal family sometimes. How the red-headed one- who strikes such a resemblance to me- is happy. His smile. Their smile. It makes me feel warm.. but Chimeras don't feel. So I forget about that ideal family because, even though I know that I'm not supposed to feel, it hurts. Like those who created me and those who supposedly look up to me- their words cut me like knives.

They used knives. But that's a different tale all together.

They told me I had no heart. When I demanded my family- when I demanded a boy named Lucas and two people who I called "Mom" and "Dad", they laughed in my face. I can still remember the words they said. "Family? What family? The family that doesn't exist? Wake up, Commander; you're in the army now. You're not a child. You're not this 'Claus' person that you fabricated. What type of family would want a pathetic, worthless monster like you?"

As time went on, I began to realise they were right.

I look into the mirror sometimes at the end of a mission. At the end of every mission. Just to see the scars that the opposition painted on me. On my flesh.

Flesh.

Skin.

Humans have those. Not Chimera. Never Chimera. I have yet to see a Chimera, that isn't me, bleed crimson on the ground below our feet. Below the foundation of this building. Yet... I bleed. But I'm not human. They told me I'm not human. They told me I am but a toy; a slave. A commander. And that was all.

A slave.

A toy.

A commander.

Not.

Human.

Not a human with a family. Not a human with talents. Not a human with beauty. A slave and a toy and a commander.

Time and time again, I think about my ideal family. How fuzzy and blurred the image gets. I can't tell if the memory is fading or if I'm crying. Odd- chimeras don't cry. Odd- chimera's don't _remember_. Not things like this. They remember the faces of people they killed, the missions they've succeeded in, the faces of those who created them, the faces of-

The boy.

The boy with the blond hair who looks like me.

The boy with the blond hair who looks like me but with blue eyes; as blue as the skies.

The face of the boy with the blond hair who looks like me but with blue as, as blue as the skies, who shows up in my thought of an ideal family and it hits me. All at once. With a force so giant it forces me to sit down on the bed and cry.

Odd- chimeras don't cry.

Only humans do.

Only humans have flesh.

Only humans feel.

Only humans remember.

I'm human. I'm human. Human. Not chimera. Words I think but don't say to the sadistic scientists.

Human. Not chimera. Words I think but I don't dare say.

I'm human and I have a family. A boy who looks exactly like me who is waiting for me, a dad with quiet eyes that he hides under a hat who is waiting for me. A mom with a gentle smile and a gentler embrace... isn't. I have a family.

If I went back- if I could go back, would they still want me? Knowing that I have killed hundreds of people all in the name of King P? That not only am I a threat to myself but to them? I couldn't weave them into the threads of my so-called life that are falling apart. I couldn't do it anyway. They weren't real. I was created in a lab in the Murasaki Forest.

For the first time in forever...

I cried. Alone. In my dorm.

Not sure what to believe.


End file.
